The gray between you and me. It's not a clean cut black and white, And the longer we stay, Every time we share a secret smile, The darker the gray becomes. Our boundaries are slate. A lingering hand on a shoulder, A stolen kiss An intoxicated “I need you.” Another drop of black. The pristine white Deepens, Darkens. Slowly, we are consumed By an obsidian fog. We live within the gray. Each time, Every moment we utter those words, “This is the last time.” Our most infamous lie, The gray between gets darker. And we revel in it; We love to hate our choices, And we hate that we love it. We lie in the charcoal With whispers And moans And promises that must be left unsaid. They serve only to muddy The already murky waters, Until we float in a pool of black. This is where we exist A place of not knowing And never wanting to learn. The closer we grow The further we travel We cling harder, Finally embracing the gravel.
Author: Sofia Sarai
Welcome to the Beginning of the End
Hello world!
My name is Sofia Sarai Aguirre, and I am a student in my final semester of college. Even typing that sentence hit me with a sense of finality. This semester is the period of my college career. There will be no more next semesters, no more commas, no more semicolons. This is the end of an era. And I want you to join me in the final leg of my college journey.
I have never been good with endings. The bubbling anticipation of reading the last chapter of a book can be well near damning. I often try to guess the endings of horror movies, wondering where the director will take the film. And now, I am faced with writing my own ending. It’s scary, isn’t it? A relentless slew of questions every time I join a simple conversation. Do you have a job lined up? Are you coming back home? Do you know where you will be living? I wish I could predict my own ending. I feel like I dreamt up every option on earth, and yet, I am still left searching for any answer.
And now, I am faced with writing my own ending. It’s scary, isn’t it?
Will I live in New York City, going between a consulting job and community theater? Or maybe, I’ll fly out to Los Angeles and become a director. I could move to DC with my best friend, just to be closer to my aunt. I mean, if I really wanted to, I could drop everything and move to a foreign country. At this point in my life, the options are limitless. The world is large and infinite, and humans were not made to fit infinity in their skulls.
I suppose that the boundlessness was part of the reason I wanted to start this blog. It is quite comforting to be able to write about my impending ending. There is no fear when I am literally controlling my own narrative. Writing this make me feel less alone. So to whoever is reading this, I am happy to have you as company on my journey through infinity.
Sofia Sarai 